Always
by Flywheel Shyster and Flywheel
Summary: A close call. Maybe it wasn't over. Maybe she just had to blink(-182) her tears away and trust that he would always come through for her.


**_Always_**

"Fuck!" The phone had slipped out of her grasp and down beneath the seat. The very moment she decided to ignore it and pick it up later, it started to ring. It was the only custom ringtone she had; it was _his_melody. Waiting be damned, she needed to just hear his voice. She glanced at the road before leaning down and rummaging around in search for the cellular device.

They say that the good die young. But the Grim Reaper knew that Marie Kanker was a bad, bad girl.

In the absolutely last second, she looked up and saw the, in comparison to her own car, gargantuan truck crossing over into her lane. Bringing out the cat like reflexes she had been developed over a period of years hunting the Eds, she quickly jerked the wheel to the left; the car complied instantly and changed its direction, out of the eighteen-wheeler's direct path. Her knuckles whitened due to the hard grip she had on the wheel when she made a violent right; just barely avoiding the swerving rear of the out of control truck.

Returning to her own lane, she slammed her foot on the brake and threw herself out of the car. The pouring rain absolutely drenched her from head to toe instantly but she never even noticed. Grabbing hold of a nearby tree, she barely thought twice before hunching over and vomiting violently. The shivering all throughout her body wasn't due to the cold rain against her skin however, it wasn't because of the fact that throwing up always made her a bit wobbly, it wasn't due to the fact that she just almost died. She was detoxing bad off a drug she didn't even knew she was taking.

Love.

She wanted him. She needed him. She missed him.

_**I've been here before a few times**_

**Nervous**; _adjective_. Marked by or having a feeling of unease or apprehension.

The first time Double-D stepped foot in the Kanker trailer as Marie's official boyfriend however, he was definitely experiencing more than _one_feeling of unease.

"She'll be right down." It was their first date since they'd decided to come out of the whole 'secret couple' thing; the reason of which was to avoid the reactions of Double-D's best friend Eddy McGee and Marie's sister Lee. While he had known that he would have to face the older Kanker sooner or later, he'd been hoping that later was at a _much_later time than this.

"Thank you, Lee." She just grumbled in response and slumped back on the couch, throwing glares at the flowers in Double-D's hand every now and then.

He didn't know what to do of himself; sitting down between Lee and May, the youngest sister who for some reason was sitting upside-down, was definitely out of the question. The floor looked like it hadn't been cleaned for quite some time, so that was out. Dragging a chair from or sitting down in the kitchen would be unnecessary and rude. He contemplated waiting outside but knew that Marie would _not_appreciate such an action of cowardice.

So he just stood there, staring at the TV that seemed to play the same reruns as when they were kids.

"You know, she really likes you." Lee couldn't help but snicker when the nervous young man jumped a feet in the air at May's statement.

"I- She- I really like her too." Double-D felt a little reassured when May smiled and nodded once in response before turning her attention back to the TV.

"Good."

"Hey, Double-D." That reassurance took a hike out the window when he saw Lee stand up on the couch, standing several feet taller than him and a lot more intimidating than he could ever be.

"Y-yes?" He could almost feel himself shrink under the stare, if you could call it that, of her girlfriend's sister who started to walk towards him slowly; completely ignoring a spluttering May whom she'd stepped on.

"I really like her too." Double-D could see what she meant by it but boy, did that sound wrong. "So let me tell you right now; there is nothing I wouldn't do to protect her." She was now off the couch and even though he was technically a bit taller, he sure didn't feel that way. "If you ever hurt her, in _any_way at all; I will return the favor. _Thousandfold._" The last word was spat out with such venom, his back finally hit the wall; after all the years, an Eds' body was still programmed to escape the presence of a Kanker as fast as possible.

"Well-" He was certain that the sound of him swallowing his heart back into place surely echoed around the small trailerhold. "I would just like to say that I think... She's too good for me."

"Are you mocking her, right in my face?" She was a mere inches from his own face before he knew it and he quickly turned his head; the breath of Lee Kanker was certainly one to fear.

"No, I really mean it! She's... Full of life, in many ways I'm not. While I often see things from a linear point of view, i.e. following the facts, she can not only see and think outside the box but _live_outside it too. She is quite possibly the single greatest person I have ever had the good fortune to meet in my life, after the chases stopped of course." His nervous laughter died down when she didn't move or relax the snarl on her face. "What I'm trying to say is that... I love her." There was a gasp and a loud ***thump*** from the general couch area. "And if I could, I would spend forever and after trying to get her to see herself from my point of view."

Lee Kanker would often think back to this moment as a defining one; not only because it confirmed what she already knew, that her sister's boyfriend would be there for her when she herself couldn't, but also because she then knew the one thing she wanted in life. To have someone speak that way of her.

Of course, Double-D didn't know what Lee was thinking so when she suddenly smiled, he thought he was definitely done for.

"That's what I wanted to hear." A sigh of relief escaped his lips and he found that he'd been pressing himself up against the wall as much as humanly possible without going through it. "Promise you'll take good care of her."

"Always."

"She's lucky to have you; you're a stand up guy."

"I must say; you're not too bad yourself, Lee." It was true; he didn't find her particularly attractive or her bossy personality endearing but just like Marie, there was a nicer side to her that very, very, _very_rarely came out. Something he was gonna have a talk with Eddy about.

"May, I love you and everything but you can't possibly be so stupid that you can't even sit on the couch _and_watch TV!" How she did it, he would never know but the instant Marie came down the stairs, Lee was back on the couch, lazily staring at the TV.

"Hey! I fell off because Double-D said-" The blonde Kanker was quickly silenced when her oldest sister swiftly kicked her over the head.

"She just got worked up 'cause she ain't never seen a man in this house with flowers." The middle sister gave them an odd look before shrugging and turning her attention to her boyfriend.

"Hi, Strawberry cake."

"Hello, Marie. Are you ready to go?" The sly smile, the one that appeared every single time she made him blush, very well appeared in response to another one of her affectionate nickname for him.

"Sure is. Don't wait up!" She sneaked him a quick kiss before turning back to her sisters.

"Whatever." Lee didn't even break her staring match with the TV and May was too busy attending her aching head.

"Gee, what crawled up her ass and died?" The oldest Kanker couldn't help but grin to herself as the young couple disappeared out the door; Marie had proved it to be possible for one of them to a snag an Ed.

_**And I'm quite aware we're dying**_

"Hey. Hey, Sugar cube." They were sprawled out in the grass, gazing up at the stars. It was a warm summer eve and the only thing they could hear was the playful breeze rustling the surrounding tree's leaves. It was the first time he'd been out since Eddy died and Marie had insisted that he'd at least try grieving her way.

"Yes?" Double-D had never smoked before, least of all marijuana. But now, he couldn't for the life of him figure out why he hadn't tried it before. He was as light as a feather, not a worry in the world; the crippling sadness he had felt for the last four days had subsided drastically. Instead, he felt one with the universe. He was moving with the Earth. He felt comforted by the fact that Marie was next to him. But mostly, it felt like it took him at least half an hour to think of the proper response _and then_actually say it.

"I had a thought."

"How fun." Neither of them perceived his response as sarcastic; not only because it wasn't intended as such but just because neither couldn't even begin to understand the concept of sarcasm in their current state.

"It's kinda depressing."

"How sad." She smiled when she felt his fingers playing around hers.

"Life often is."

"You had a thought about life?"

"Yeah."

"How fun."

"Do you want to hear it?"

"You know I do."

"We're all dying."

"... Did I miss something?"

"No, I mean; we all have an expiration date when it's time for us to return to wherever we once came from. Or maybe move on to the next one."

"Oh... You mean we're all dying in the sense that... Uhm... In the sense that we all have to die some day."

"Yeah, it's just something you don't think about."

"That's quite morbid."

"Yeah." Silence fell upon them, Double-D still playing around with Marie's fingers.

"I also had a thought."

"How fun." She mimicked his response naturally but he didn't even notice.

"Do you want to hear it?"

"If I could, I wouldn't listen to anything that didn't come out of your head."

"How fun."

"What was the thought?"

"Death... Death is boring."

"What?"

"Well, everybody dies, right?"

"Sure."

"Meaning it's something everyone have to go through, sooner or later."

"So?"

"It's common. Like going to work, standing in line at the store, going to sleep and waking up. We all do it."

"The... Stigma, yeah; the stigma is that we don't know what happens when you actually do pop."

"Yes, that's precisely what it is." He paused, taking in the beauty of the night. "I think..."

"Yeah?"

"I think that people go through life... Like it's just a big routine."

"Like... Going to work, standing in line at the store, going to sleep and waking up."

"Exactly; we box ourselves into this..."

"Box?"

"Yes, this box! We don't leave this box either because, why would we? It's simple, it's familiar, it's comfortable."

"And because death is outside the box... Unknown, it frightens them."

"Which is the opposite of what we should be doing. We should embrace the unknown as a part of our lives, see it as a whole new experience instead of the end. Just like... Just like Eddy did towards... The end..."

"Oh, Cupcake..." She paused; the pain and sadness her boyfriend was experiencing was one she couldn't even begin to fathom. "I think all of us could be better people if we just accept that there are things which are beyond our control."

"Oh, there will be quite some time, if ever, before that happens; it's part of our nature to try to control what we aren't currently and to understand what we don't."

"We gotta push past it."

"Precisely." The stars were putting on the eternal show, twinkling above them in the night sky. Millions and millions miles away, in other galaxies; maybe another couple were lying there, gazing into the unknown. Who knows?

"What the fuck are we talking about?"

"... We were talking?"

_**And your hands they shake with goodbyes**_

He had always been there for her, for _them_. And now... He was just gone. Her grandfather. Her Ace.

So many afternoons she'd spent in his city apartment; talking shit, drinking Starbucks coffee she'd buy on the way because his coffeemaker was constantly on the fritz (something he refused to admit was a result of him trying to upgrade the drip speed), flip through photo albums and listen to stories from World War II and, in later years of course, smoke those disgusting, tar filled cigarettes he and Grandma Kanker smoked well since before the birth of Marie's mother.

"_Yah shouldn't smoke, Marie; it ain't good for a young lady like yourself!_"

"_Someone's gotta help you finish these packs; you'd probably end up in the hospital if you smoked 'em all yourself!_"

"_Nonsense, girl; I'm fit as a fiddle and ready for love!_" He was wrong. He was nowhere near the string section. She still remembered the first day, what felt like the only day there had ever been.

"_Marie? Could I speak with your gra-_"

"_Anythin' you can say in front of me, you can say to the little lady, Doc._"

"_Very well. Ace... I'm terribly sorry to have to tell you this but... We found something on your X-rays._"

"_Let me guess. Cancer?_" A veteran of three wars, though he would always claim at least five ("Boy, Marie; if you would've been there the time I came home from Peter Bonnet's stag party with lipstick on me' collar, you would've seen something missed by the hist'ry books."), Ace was never one for sugarcoating and pussyfooting.

"_Small cell lung carcinoma._"

"_Prognosis?_"

"_Not good._"

"_How long?_"

"_Six, maybe eight months with treatment._"

"_And without?_"

"_Ace, I wouldn't recomm-_"

"_And_without _treatment?_" The doctor sighed; he knew better than to argue with the stubborn man who once blackmailed his way out of a tetanus shot .

"_Four months top, probably a lot lower than that if the cancer spreads._"

"_Aight. Thanks, Doc._

"_Ace, I highly recommend that you-_"

"_Doc, I didn't storm the beaches of France, crawl through Korean mud and leave half of me contact list in black bags in 'Nam to spend my last time, however short, here on God's green earth in a hospital bed._"

"_There will be a considerable amount of pain duri-_"

"_Son, I once had to dig a bullet out of my arm using chopsticks and a fishing lure; I think I can take a little coughing._"

"_If that's what you want, Ace, I can't stop you._"

"_Damn right. Now get the hell out there and get me and the lady some coffee; this place has the worst service I ever dun seen."_

"_Ace, I have other pat-_"

"_You come in here to tell me I got sixteen weeks to live and not even so much as a soft pretzel! This is a damn outrage; I demand to speak to the manager of this joint!_"

"_... I'll be right back with your coffee. Sir._" The, by then, frightened doctor frantically added the 'sir', saluted the dying man and his granddaughter and quickly scurried out of the room.

"_My unearthly child._" His face, his eyes, softened considerably when he turned to Marie who hadn't said a word since the doctor had entered.

"_Ace, I-_"

"_I'm so sorry, Marie._" Through the energy consuming process of trying to fully understand that her sweet, innocent grandfather was dying of lung cancer came confusion.

"_W-What?_"

"_I lied to you._" Oh, wouldn't it just be great if he was going senile at the same time?

"_What the fuck are you talking about?_" Ace smiled warmly, knowing that while the world might never see Marie the way he did, a beautiful though misunderstood flower, one day a very special boy would. He couldn't tell when, where or who, but he knew that boy would come. And it wouldn't surprise him if she had already met said boy.

"_I lied to you. I ain't fit as a fiddle; I ain't even in the string section. The way I cough, I should've known something was off; sounds too much like a trombone._"

And now, he was just... Gone. No more war stories, no more disgusting coffee when he thought he'd fixed the machine, no more crazy old man bursting through the trailer door exclaiming "**_THE ACE IS_********_STILL RUNNIN' STRONG, LOVIN' FAMILY!_**" Nothing.

Marie had never been to a funeral before, the sisters having been to young to attend their grandmother's. She had always been curious about it; if it was anything like the movies where people cry openly, if the person in the coffin does in fact look dead or if it really sucks as much as it's portrayed.

She was crying the hardest.

Her grandfather, her Ace, didn't look dead, merely... Peaceful. Like the sleep he was experiencing wasn't eternal.

It didn't suck as much as the movies though. It didn't even suck at all. She could only describe it as a hellish nightmare that would never end.

Her heart felt, barely a noticeable amount, lighter when he steadied her shaking hand with his. She was thankful that even with everything they had gone through, there was still an angel disguised in a black suit and black tie, sitting there next to her smack down in the middle of the nightmare, that would always make her see the light at the end of the tunnel.

**_And I'll take you back if you'd have me_**

_Marie, I... I can't even begin to forgive myself for tonight so I certainly don't expect you to. But... It killed Eddy. Just a regular, fun, innocent night with friends and... Mrs. McGee waits for her child to come home but will never return. A brain that will never scam again. A tongue that will never speak of stories and lies to women at parties. Feet that will never again walk the streets of the Cul-de-Sac like they were the master of all the other feet._

_..._

_I think I missed the point somewhere._

_..._

_Wait- No- Yes! The point is; if I lost you, your fantastic wonder of a brain, your soft, velvety tongue or your adorable naked feet striding across the floors of my home... I would break. There is no saying what I would do. For the truth is, there is nothing I would want to do without you. You are my world. You are my everything. You are the love of my life. A wide statement when one's barely eighteen but I can firmly say that you are. I will say it over and over until you see yourself through my eyes; the wonderful human being, the beautiful woman you are and have always-_

_..._

_Sorry, there's- There's a text._

_..._

_"Go back to the beginning, Oven Mitt."_

_..._

_The beginning? Wh- Of course, I'm a damn moron!_

_**So here I am, I'm trying**_**_  
__So here I am, are you ready_**

"Marie! Are you alright?"

"Little light on clothes, hurt a little; otherwise bitchin'! You through yet?"

"Well, I entered more than alright but I really should have calculated the trajectory path of-"

"What the hell are you- Double-D, are you saying you're stuck?"

"I may be."

"How the fuck... You try to some tantric backflip or something?"

"I'm honestly not sure what happened; this is the first time this sort of issue has been encountered!"

"Well, duh. Aight, you got any wiggle room?"

"I doubt even a finger could be wiggled in this narrow passage."

"Oh, you and your dirty talk. Well, what the hell do we do?"

"I strongly advice for some lubrication to be applied!"

"Some lube, eh? Thought doesn't sound so ridiculous now, does it?"

"... I apologized for that incident already. Now, could you please focus on the current predicament?"

"Aight, aight; hang on."

...

"Marie?"

"Got the lube!"

"I do wish you would call it lubrication-"

"You want my help or not?"

"Very well then; just apply the... Lube!"

"Say please."

"Wh- Marie!"

"_Eddward..._"

"... Marie, please."

"Please, _what_?"

"*_sigh_* Marie, please apply the lube."

"Oh, you bad, bad boy. Aight, here it comes!"

"Oh, thank heavens; this position is starting to strain my pelvis!"

"That's not what you said last night, Sugar Cube."

"This is hardly the time for teasing!"

"There's always time for teasing, Sweetie. Can you wiggle yet?"

"... No progress. How could this have happened? I've always followed the necessary precautions!"

"I got an idea that might work. Where's the head at?"

"... Where do you think?"

"Oh, Eddward; this is hardly the time for teasing! I'm just saying, re-position your head!"

"How would that benefit me?"

"Just trust me!"

"... Okay, head re-positioned. Now, what follows?"

"This!"

"Marie, no! There's not enough room to-"

"GERONIMOOOO!"

"HEAVEEEEEENS!"

"See; told you it was gonna work!"

"There was no certainty in it; you could just as easily have gotten stuck yourself!"

"With you all lubed up like that? Hardly."

"... Marie, why are you so lightly dressed?"

"Because _someone_went and threw almost everything in the washing machine before sliding down the laundry chute; thought my clothes would help cushion your fall!"

"Really? Your brassiere too?"

_**Come on, let me hold you**_

Things don't always go according to plan.

If you were to ask Double-D how he had envisioned for him and Marie to spend their six-month anniversary, he would have shared a winding and detailed plan spanning over multiple points which dated at least seven weeks back.

If you were to ask him how the plan actually went, he would have grumbled and coughed violently in response.

"Here's your soup, Cutie." Marie held out the dark blue mug and a pale, shaking hand reached out from under the jungle of blankets lumped together in one corner of the couch.

"Thanks." A croaky, hoarse voice originating from said pile responded.

"How are you feeling?" The closest thing she received to an answer was a loud sneeze that rocked the entire couch, almost spilling out the hot contents of the mug in the process. She tilted her head and smiled slightly.

Her boyfriend was enveloped in a tomb of sweaters and blankets, sweating profoundly but still weakly complaining of being cold every other minute. Countless of cough drops, tissues and warm woolly socks had been lost within the dark, diseased depths of it and were most likely to never be seen again. He looked so small and helpless, not to mention miserable, as he alternated between decibel shattering sneezing and coughing that sounded not unlike a car trying to start on a freezing winter morning.

She knew he had had something planned for this night; evidenced by the way he had been going out of his way trying to cure the, in comparison, light cold she had been harboring since Monday. His efforts had not been in vain though; she had been absolutely symptom free upon awakening yesterday. Unfortunately, that's when his first ones had appeared.

"I know this isn't what you thought tonight would be-"

"That's an understatement." He sniveled and the other hand appeared to wipe his nose, only to quickly retract moments later when it felt like his whole body temperature fell several degrees from leaving the safety of the blanket cave.

"- But hey, that's life. Besides, you gotta admit that this is gonna be a kinda sweet story."

"Ex-" The mug was quickly set down on a side table when his whole body convulsed in another coughing fit. "Ex-" It was like turning the key in the ignition without much success. "Ex-"

"Sweetie, just be quiet; you sound like a lagging Dalek." She was sure he tried to sneak in a groan between coughs; it was after all he who had decided to get her hooked on Doctor Who. Took some serious bargaining though. "Think about it; you running around with some kinda master plan, trying to cure me of my cold, you get sick yourself and we spend the night watching movies, curled up on the couch." He didn't even try to bother speaking, instead only giving her a weak thumbs up.

A ding echoed from the kitchen.

"Stuff." She snickered at his weak wave in the kitchen's general direction.

"Popcorn's done." As soon as she had left the room, he let his head fall back and he groaned again; in frustration this time. He was still disappointed with himself that he had been forced to cancel the movie night she had planned for Halloween and now this. Sure; she said she didn't mind but if he thought anyone deserved to be treated special, it was Marie. "Aight, you think you have it in you for at least one flick?"

"Soup, girlfriend, tissues; what else could one ask for?" She smiled and patted his cheek, dumping the popcorn in his lap of a thousand layers before sauntering over to the DVD-player.

"Tim Burton and a film about Halloween and Christmas." There wasn't enough strength in his body to either blush or avert his gaze, as he often did out of respect, so he could only stare on as she leaned over and took 'The Nightmare Before Christmas' out of its case.

She smiled to herself as he sneezed loudly again; it wasn't a complete disaster after all. At least they had each other.

"Marie."

"Yeah, Cold Cut?"

"It would be wise to prepare another bowl of popcorn." Though he would weakly protest the gesture, she would snuggle up in his arms underneath the numerous covers and even though she would burn up instantly; it'd be worth it, just as long as he held her.

"Why, you eat it all?"

"No, I sneezed into this one."

_**Touch you, feel you**_**_  
__Always_**

"How are things transpiring in your house?"

"_The fuck do I know; Lee goes from looking like she wanna beat the living shit out of me and pulling out a Cuban to congratulate me._"

"I assume it's the fact that we kept our relationship hidden that doesn't sit right with her?"

"_Oh, you better believe it. Got the whole fucking lecture on how secrets between sisters usually ends with a fist in the mouth on the way home from Eddy's._"

"That is... Mortifying."

"_Eh, she'll come around. How's McGee?_"

"I talked to him and, well, it wasn't unlike Lee's reaction."

"_Go figure; they did find you balls deep in me, pumping away on a pile of old clothes in his closet._"

"Wh- Marie!"

"_What? It's true!"_

"But the _phrasing_; we talked about this!"

"_Hey, I'll talk about your damn balls as much as I want!_"

"Oh, for the love of-"

"_Balls, balls, balls, balls, balls!_"

"What in heaven's infantile name has gotten into you today?!"

"_It's not what's gotten into me; it's what was pulled out of me!_"

"... Jesus."

"_This'd all be easier to deal with if you had finished the job you started!_"

"In front of Eddy and Lee?!"

"_The hell do I care! All I know is; you were a goddamn racehorse ploughing your way straight into the biggest fucking orgasm of my life and now I got stress the size of boulders on my shoulder blades!_"

"Well, would it be possible to... Finish later tonight?"

"_Lee's got me on a total lockdown until she's figured out what she thinks about all this. And being locked up in a trailer with your two sisters bugging you every shitty second doesn't give one much room to flick the bean!_"

"It's unfortunate, I'll admit-"

"_It's fucked, that's what it is! How the hell am I supposed to focus on... The fuck is this shit; she expects me to do homework? Shows what she knows!_"

"Perhaps it would be beneficiary; there is the test on the work of Nikola Tesla and Thomas Edison scheduled for next Friday."

"_I know what's important; Edison fucked Tesla harder than you did me last night!_"

"Are you truly incapable of thinking about anything else?"

"_Yes! It's unfair 'cause it was like pulling the chocolate bar right out of Charlie's hand when he-_"

"No, no; you're not sexualising the work of Roald Dahl! Again!"

"_Fine. Then, imagine a Tesla coil._"

"Oh, so you did begin-"

"_They've been winding that shit up for hours and now it's finally ready to discharge this giant bolt of electricity that'll satisfy the need of the entire fucking country._"

"I do hope you choose your words more wisely on the actual- Marie, you're still talking about intercourse; aren't you?"

"_Gears are grinding, stuff's pumping and just as the entire country watches in awe-_"

"So you're claiming the nation had television during the execution of this experiment?"

"_- And then, nope! President's pulled the plug on this shit; everybody get the fuck up out of here and forget this was ever a thing!_"

"You are exaggerating severely now, besides; that is not the proper function of the Tesl-"

"_Balls, balls, balls, balls, balls!_"

"That's just about enough! Marie, accept the fact that my Tesla coil will not be able to plough you like an Arabian purebred today and for the love of all that is holy; if you don't halt referring to my testicles in such a childish manner, I have a good mind to march over there and administer a good thrashing to your rear end!"

"Ehm, Double-D? Still here." At the sound of his name, and the voice of his best friend, he spun around and a fierce blush quickly spread across his face when he remembered that Eddy McGee was sitting on his couch, harboring a severely disturbed facial expression.

"Oh... Right..."

"_Oh, yeah; you'd like that, wouldn't you? To barge in here, tear my slacks off and bend me over your knee. Yeah, I've been a dirty, dirty girl. Baaaalls..._"

"Marie, I have to go. I will talk to you later."

"_Don't you dare hang up on me, you sexy motherfu-_" Knowing all too well that he was going to have to pay for that action at a later time, he slid the phone back into his pocket. Blinking twice to collect his thoughts, he sat back down in the armchair he had casually strolled away from during the course of the call. An awkward pause followed where the two friends stared mindlessly at each other.

"Damn, Double-D..." Eddy was the first to speak, putting his coffee cup down on the table. "That was some nasty-ass dirty talk." A wide grin split his face in half and he burst out laughing, wheezily reciting passages from the cellular conversation in between the fits that seemed to pulsate out him.

"... As we have all have had about a Comedy Central special on my behalf this day, are you still angered about this?" Double-D rubbed his temples patiently; they had been in the middle of a discussion concerning last night's events when Marie had so amorously interrupted.

"Well..." His entertained laughter ebbed out and he composed himself again, though still snickering every now and then. "I am still kinda pissed you didn't think to tell me; not to mention that you 'ploughed' the fuck out of Marie on a pile of my clothes. Closet's gonna need a damn exorcism now!"

"I do apologize again, Eddy; there is no excuse for our vulgar behavior other than we were severely inebriated." He picked at a small burn hole on his shirt collar he had discovered upon awakening. Most probably Marie's handiwork; it wouldn't be the first time that she had accidentally damaged his clothing during a drinking binge.

"Tell you what; as a start, never, _ever,_mention your balls again." The beanie-clad young man nodded.

"I can assure you that will not be happening again."

"Then, you can either help me clean up the mess or burn the whole damn house down. Call it even."

"You haven't cleaned the house yet?" Eddy scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"A certain someone hid some serious shit from his best friend that was a bit more urgent to discuss, not to mention having defiled every piece of clothing this friend owns."

"... Very well then." Double-D groaned and stood up; he was still nursing a relentless headache. "When are your parents due?"

"What time is it?"

"It's... One thirty."

"Aight, so about two hours." Eddy followed his friend into the hallway, shoehorning back into his shoes.

"_Two hours?!_Eddy, the last thing I remember before leaving last night was that Kevin and Jonny were preparing to turn the stairs into a Slip n' Slide!"

"Oh, yeah; thought it was weird that the carpet was soaked..." Throwing the door open, the two paused for a moment and took in the sight of Eddy's house across the street. At that point, it was uncertain whether there was still a lawn underneath all the discarded beer cans, bottles and kegs. "Well, that's why I got you to help!"

"I think we have a better chance to incinerate the entire house and build an exact replica in two hours than to get it back to its previous state." Double-D was thrown off the front door step when Eddy clapped him on the back, the latter throwing the door closed behind them, and the two began walking to the disaster area formerly known as the McGee residence.

"Pray, Double-D. Hope and pray shitloads."

"Oh, I am." The closer they get, the heavier their hearts got. There wasn't a snowball's chance in hell that they were gonna succeed but god damn it if they weren't gonna try. "By the way, something I've been wondering about; why were you and Lee Kanker alone in your room to begin with?"

"We were gonna- I mean, I was- She thought- Mind your own damn business! Now grab a bag and start collecting condoms!"

_**Kiss you**_

"Hey, Sweetie."

"Hello, Marie." He placed the shoulder bag containing his laptop against the chair and his cup of coffee on the table, giving his a girlfriend a quick kiss on the lips. Three-quarters through an essay, Marie had called him; asking if he wanted to grab a coffee with her and a friend. So he had packed up, walked out of the library after borrowing the necessary research materials and ventured to a café not far from there.

"Sam, this is Double-D. Double-D, Sam." The red-headed girl sitting across from Marie extended her hand, smiling friendly.

"Pleasure."

"Likewise, Sam." He sat down and took a careful sip of his coffee, smiling slightly when he felt Marie's fingers entwine with his.

"So this is the Beast you were talking about, Marie? Quite impressive." The careful sip reverted back into the cup when he began spluttering at Sam's remark.

"_Pardon?_"

"Well, we were talking and Marie started bragging about you so much, a new nickname surfaced." She pushed her glasses further up her nose and clasped her hands around the mug of tea in front of her.

"She came up with it." Marie nodded towards her friend and looked to her boyfriend who stared back at her in complete disbelief.

"_Beast?_"

"Well, yeah." Double-D sighed wearily and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Marie, haven't I expressed the wish that you don't share details of the intimate part of our relationship with your friends? You know that I don't feel comfortable that other people know what goes on in the privacy of four eyes!" The two women shared a look and swallowed down a laugh.

"Double-D, it's-"

"Would you prefer that I began discussing these matters with Ed or Eddy? What you find enjoyable and not? Duration, size, stamina, decibel levels-"

"Double-D!" He closed his mouth and furrowed his brow at Marie's amused look, only becoming more confused when he saw Sam trying and failing to limit an outburst of laughter to a snicker. "I wasn't bragging about you in _that way._"

"What?"

"She was going on and on about how smart you are and so, I likened you to Beast." Sam buried her smiling face in her mug.

"I'm afraid I don't-"

"Sam's a comic book freak; she's talking about the X-Men. You know, the blue, furry guy?" Only then did it dawn upon him what they were really talking about.

"Who was played by Kelsey Grammer and..."

"Is a genius. That's why you're Beast." Marie shot Sam a delighted look as he groaned and hung his head, feeling that he had embarrassed himself completely. She leaned in and kissed his temple, squeezing his hand.

"Honest mistake, Sweetie." Taking a sip from her own coffee, she grinned deviously at her friend. "Although... I guess the nickname still stands if we're talking about you in _that_way."

"_Marie_!" His head whipped up and he stared at her with a horrified look. This time, Sam couldn't contain her laughter.

"Take it as a compliment, Double-D!" Said person looked down into his cup and sighed heavily. The never-ending teasing was something he was used to by now from Marie's side.

"I guess... Tony Stark also would've worked." Sam only laughed harder at Marie's comment while Double-D continued to stare into his cup defiantly, blushing furiously.

"Iron Man, good one!" She managed to get out between shallow breaths. Lifting her glasses to wipe away a tear, she gave him a sympathetic look. "Hey, Double-D; I'm sorry but it's this silly thing I'm used to doing with guys I date."

"I'd thought she'd gone insane when she said she was going out with Magneto."

"The guy was just so fucking clingy! Ditto with Spider-Man; freak of nature, his name was even Peter!"

"Not to mention some of the guys Kitty's dated. Remember Kitty, Double-D?"

"Was she the one with the dragon tattoo?"

"No, that's Ash; Kitty's the tiny one."

"The hilarious thing is, she's only dated these huge guys who look even bigger 'cause she's so small. Colossus, the Hulk-"

"The Juggernaut, bitch!"

"Oh, you gotta hear this! So, there's this Halloween party where they'd decided beforehand to come as Kitty Pryde and Colossus, both originally X-Men, but he shows up as-"

Double-D listened politely to the story and laughed at the end where the boyfriend had drunkenly rushed down the host of the party because that person had made the horrible mistake of asking him who he was. So was often the case when he met Marie's friends who were extremely social by nature; he could quite simply sit there quietly and enjoy seeing them converse casually about everything imaginable, especially subjects he knew would be impossible for the two of them to. He leaned in and kissed her cheek; smiling widely over the fact that while they might have her attention over a coffee, he would have her full attention for the rest of the day.

_**Taste you all night**_**_  
__Always_**

They knew each other's bodies well enough to be considered one.

He could make her shudder in delight so easily; a light tracing of his fingers across her lower back, slowly pulling a hand through her unruly hair in the morning or something as simple a gentle caress of her thigh.

But the one thing that really excited her was his mouth. There was just something in the way he used it that made her wonder if all those years of speaking like a walking thesaurus had exercised his lips, his tongue, beyond human expectancies. It was just... Unrealistic, the way he so simply could become like possessed by an animalistic urge; a primal hunger for her naked flesh.

The way his teeth would scrape across her neck. How he delicately placed his lips against her collarbones. The way he traced circles with his tongue around her by then erect nipples. Gently biting the fat around her midriff that she complained about every now and then. Detouring slightly and offering her hip some attention too. Before he finally reached the spot she was practically begging him to attack viciously, to devour ferociously in a fit of heated carnal passion. She had never felt so submissive in her entire life; it felt like the only wish she had ever held was to be ravished there and then.

But almost sadistically so, he never listened to her lustful pleas; her body was an instrument that he had mastered to perfection, being able to create the most beautiful music with. When her whimpers and moans were replaced with cries and shrieks searching for relief, all with a voice thick with arousal and coated with desire, he would simply stop his treatment of her all together and look up with a self-satisfied smile. They were as one because as she often teased him, he knew just the right buttons of hers to push.

"The conductor of an orchestra never initiates a symphony with the crescendo."

_**And I'll miss your laugh, your smile**_

Double-D often thought that it was the little things in life that made the biggest impact. The morning sun walking to school, being allowed to end class ten minutes early, looking out over a freshly mowed lawn and enjoy the scent.

Marie was a horrible person to be around in the morning. Unless there was a mutual agreement that they did have time for some casual what-the-hell-it's-Tuesday-sex before school, there was little that could be done about the coarse threats that streamed out of her mouth when the alarm rang. He could only look on as she dragged herself to the bathroom with a face that would make one think the entire world had wronged her horribly. The equally displeased, albeit water soaked and refreshed, grimaces and well-directed curses she made when her jeans seemed to have tied themselves into a sailor's knot because she had been a little too eager to discard them the previous night. Even when she came downstairs into her boyfriend's kitchen, where said boy was most probably reading the morning paper over toast, there was nothing to be said. Unless one counts grunts originating far down in the depths of the esophagus as actually having said something.

But then there was that magical moment when she was standing there, holding that day's first cup of coffee; observing nothing in particular. The wind playing around in the leaves outside, the boy apathetically munching away on his toast or the color of the week that was starting to chip away from her nails. And suddenly, she smiled.

While that moment of the morning never failed to lighten his mood, he always found this behavior curious but decided not to dwell on it; for what is a relationship if there aren't any mysteries left to solve?

_**I'll admit I'm wrong if you'd tell me**_

It had been the third Christmas they had celebrated together and as it now looked, the last.

He didn't know how it started, what it had concerned or who threw the first punch. Or more accurately, he knew it all by heart but he didn't care; the only thing that had replayed in his mind for the last few days was how it had ended.

"_Maybe you're right. Maybe we should just... Fuck._"

She couldn't even bring herself to say it. Instead, that's just what they had done. A loveless display of empty emotions. It had been mechanic, automatic and routine-like; so hauntingly unlike anything they had done before. Neither made a sound. Neither looked the other in the eye. They were ashamed over the fact that this... _Disgusting_act was the final punctuation in their book.

The silence carried on afterwards, simply because there wasn't much to say. She had dressed, turned away from him, while he just sat there covered by a blanket; a lifeless pair of green eyes staring off into nothing. For this was it; there was nothing waiting for him on the other side of the present. His everything; she had grown to become his everything. The reason he woke up was to see her face, going to school was only to be able to be apart for the slightest of time to make the kisses they snuck between classes that much sweeter, seeing her enter his home like it was her own made his living environment complete.

He couldn't meet her gaze, didn't have it in him to. But he saw it. The way she turned around and hesitated. Lightly fingering the locket around her neck. It didn't take a genius to know what she was thinking and he inhaled sharply; if she did it, if she actually unlocked the chain, there was no saying if he could come back from this. It would mean the permanent conclusion of what they had been sharing. Their love, their lives, their souls.

There wasn't anything he wouldn't do to get her back. If only she would. To scream at him, damn him, injure him. Anything. Mostly, let him know that she didn't blame this on herself. This was all his fault and he just needed to hear her say that. He needed confirmation of it; that she loved him so much that she could never instigate something like this.

Even though five days had passed, he still walked aimlessly through the house dressed only in the blanket. The only thing keeping him going was the hopeful notion that she had let the chain remain locked. For now.

_**I'm so sick of fights, I hate them**_

Once a month, like clockwork. It was getting absolutely ridiculous.

"Well, fuck me for being born then!"

In the beginning of their relationship, there would always be one week once a month where she refused to see or talk to him, apart from the casual texting. He couldn't for the life of him figure out why until it came to him one day when he was flipping through the anatomy book necessary for his biology homework.

"Oh, please; you're gonna try to pull this shit on me again?!"

Once the answer was in his possession, he assured her that he would have no problem spending time with her during that particular week. She assured him that he really didn't. He reassured her that it would be impossible to maintain a relationship if he couldn't handle during both the highs and the lows. She reassured him that he wasn't ready for something like that.

"What the- When the fuck did you- Shove it up your fucking ass!"

She had eventually caved but with every thirty days that passed, he was becoming convinced that she had been right; he wasn't exactly prepared or suited to handle her during those periods.

"So why the fuck don't you just sleep with her then?! You know what? FUCK YOU AND THIS SHIT!"

Why he had made the foolish decision to propose a friendly game of Monopoly was beyond him. Perhaps another thing that men would never fully understand.

**_Lets start this again for real_**

It was the middle of the night but she knew he'd be up. She knew he'd come storming to the door if she only made the move. If only she could bring herself to make the move.

It had all been so sudden; such a violent shift in the natural equilibrium they had established over the last two and a half years. Now everything just felt... Empty. And why wouldn't it?

They were going to be living across the country before this new year was over, she was all too aware of that fact, and that whatever it was they were having was most likely not going to survive the extensive journey that higher education was. But that was no reason- It was a stupid fucking reason not to try. He was a stupid fuck for even suggesting giving up prematurely. She was a stupid fuck for even accepting his surrender.

A stupid fuck who had spent every night since New Years standing in an opening in the woods and blankly staring at his house. Wondering what he was doing; if the light in the window meant that he was watching TV, if there was some scientific shit in his room that needed tinkering with. It comforted her slightly, but just knowing he was alive wasn't enough.

The jar was still on his door step. She wasn't sure if he had forgotten about it or if he himself had taken to using it but it was still there. After many ifs and buts, he had accepted the fact that her smoking habit was not something she would rid herself of any time soon and so, he had placed it there to use as a combined ashtray and container for finished cigarettes. Drawing a shaky breath, she leaned over, unscrewed the lid and discarded of the cigarette left abandoned in her hand since she had entered his yard. She wanted to punish herself for not making the move, to lower her hand and knock but the door was closed for a reason and maybe it was for the better.

Fuck no, it wasn't.

Because Double-D knew. The scent of her cancer sticks that seeped through the keyhole was confirmation enough that this wasn't for the better. There was no tinkering, no television; no reason for any light in his house. He had seen her the first night, standing there, staring at his house. Ever since then, he had spent the nights positioned against the front door, waiting for this moment. And though lonely tears began to fall as he heard her footsteps turning into echoes in the distance, he felt a little bit relieved. Whatever this was, whatever Christmas had mutilated their relationship into, was going to live to die another day.

**_So here I am I'm trying_****_  
_****So here I am are you ready**  
**So here I am I'm trying**  
**So here I am are you ready**

She had been uncharacteristically patient, he had to admit that. Apart from the few times when she had drunkenly asked him if he was ready, the subject was rarely discussed; mostly because he had made his feelings concerning it completely clear from the very first conversation they had had about it. His feelings, his compulsions concerning it. Time after time, he assured her that he was trying to come to terms with his inner demons and that yes, it had occurred to him. On more than one occasion. Not always a suitable occasion. Like school.

...

Heavens, school.

But they had had the summer together; a summer of secret meetings, phone calls after dark and early morning walks around the Peach Creek area where they would simply enjoy each other's company to the fullest and get to know each other better than they knew themselves in the end. A summer of blossoming, innocent love. So it was only natural that he would be feeling like this; a physical attraction to her that a hug, a kiss or some gentle tongue wrestling wouldn't extinguish.

"Hey, Rosebud; where we going?"

"It would hardly be a surprise if I told you now, would it?"

"Ooh, tease."

And though school had started, almost a month earlier, wouldn't this be the perfect end to the summer? The backpack filled with folded blankets, the picnic basket with a prepared dinner; even the slightly cheaper hobby telescope he could afford to take outdoors with him. The sky was clear, sans a few clouds that were floating freely off in the distance, and was due to make for a spectacular sunset.

"You know, climbing hills aren't what I'd consider hella romantic really."

"Patience, Marie; the climb is always justified once at the top."

"Wise words, Master Kenobi."

They had taken the scenic route to the swimming hole, just for the reason of keeping this outing a secret, but not him against; there was something fascinating about walking the same paths he had traveled as a child with Marie now, like a reflection into what could possibly have been if circumstances might have been a bit different. Better late than never, he assumed.

"That is one fuck of a view."

"... Some would say."

As always when he cooked, the few times they had dared to share a meal, she was overly impressed with his culinary results; having been raised in a household where hamburgers made from scratch was the most gastronomical feat ever accomplished. The appetizer was intersected with humorous banter, the main course filled with dreams and hopes of the future while the dessert was garnished with sweet nothings and complimentary flirtatious exchanges. Not to mention the make out session that followed when he revealed a thermos full of coffee.

"Aight, hands down; you can really make something out of nothing with those hands."

"Hardly; merely a combination of fresh ingredients and-"

"Sweetie, learn to take the compliment."

Then, the main event. The sun was suddenly setting so rapidly that it seemed like the entire firmament had exploded in a spectrum of colors. She was in awe of how perfect it all felt; the meal, the sky, the boy, the girl. It was the kind of moment poets wrote timeless circles, squares and hexagons around. Especially when he couldn't resist himself and plugged his phone into the small portable speakers in his backpack, out of which _their_song played. She thought he had forgotten; the first time they had ever danced. Neither had been sober, especially not he as it had been the first time he had been severely under the influence, and it had been brief. A quick waltz in disguise of the forest to the tune of her cell phone ringing.

"I'm not worth all of this."

"Oh, but you are."

"After everything I've fucking done; everything I put you through?"

"Definitely."

They formed the blankets into a makeshift nest on which they then lied down, holding each other. Night fell, neither noticed. Neither noticed the world around them, simply because everything they needed was right there at the top of the cliff. Words were whispered, words of immense beauty and passion, and their hands got more courageous, making explorations they hadn't even contemplated existed. Short, rapid breaths came out when he finally spoke.

"Marie..."

"Yeah?"

"Are... You ready?"

"I- I think so, Double-D."

"We don't have to if you-"

"I want to."

That was the night they shared their innermost intimate being with each other; the night their bodies, minds, melded together and became as one. The first of many times they would make beautiful music together. Awkward, perhaps, as the nervousness lingered in the air but what they lacked in experience, they made up for in raw emotion.

If there ever was an afterwards, they spent it gazing up at the stars, basking in the warmth the other was radiating. Slowly, as if the moment they were sharing was incredibly fragile, he reached into the backpack and produced forth the telescope, garnering an amused and adoring look. He then guided her across the sky, telling the stories of the constellations he remembered his grandfather telling him once upon a time; all while they lay under a warm blanket, completely bare for each other.

"And slightly underneath the belt, there's another row of three, more diagonal; do you see it?"

"Yeah."

"That's what constitutes the sword. There are only two stars in it though."

"Oh, now you're just teasing again."

"If you see the middle one there... It's the Orion Nebula."

"Teasing and showing off; liking this side of you."

"One might say you've rubbed off on me."

"Tell me about it..."

"Oh, you thought- Heavens..."

"Aight, so what the fuck is a nebula?"

"A massive interstellar cloud of dust, gas, starstuff if you want; possibly spanning over several light years, where stars are formed under immense pressure. The maternity wards of the universe."

"... Holy shit."

"It really makes you think, doesn't it?"

Some prefer cigarettes after being intimate, some goes directly to sleep, but the fact that they were discovering the mysteries of creation was the reason she loved him. Only he could manage to pull something like this off.

As the night passed, so did their second and more lustful try at relations and when the sun rose beyond the hills to the south, they were again dressed and watched the world awaken together with linked hands. The end of their blossoming summer infatuation but the first flower in their garden of love.

**_Come on, let me hold you_**

"Hey." She leaned her head back and their eyes connected.

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"Well, I love you more."

"Loved you longer."

"Doesn't count."

"My love was patient for yours to even be born; I win."

"Then it's quite possible that my infatuation has evolved into a higher state where it is no longer necessary to verbally express one's emotions; instead radiating it from every cell in my body and transferring it to yours by a mere, simple touch. In this case of me holding you, you're positively overflowing with my love."

"Fuck me, aren't we competitive?"

"Would you two shut the fuck up?! I'm tryna watch a movie here!" The two love birds grinned innocently at Eddy McGee on the opposite end of the couch; glaring at them from his own lazy embrace with Lee who, with relative ease, reached up and smacked him hard over the head.

"The fuck is wrong with you? Stop shitting all over their love!"

"They've been going at it all night; much more and I'm gonna barf!"

"Not in the popcorn you're not!"

**_Touch you, feel you_**  
**_Always_**

"We leave town for one night and this is what you do?!" The sisters were gathered outside the trailer, staring at their mobile home in three different ways; May couldn't stop snickering, Marie didn't know whether to be embarrassed or amused while Lee was absolutely furious.

"Hey, it's not that bad."

"Not- It's like the last fucking hour of Titanic!" The blue-haired girl hid her grin behind her hand; she was just glad that Double-D had rushed home to his garage in order to construct something, Lee probably would've torn him to pieces otherwise.

"Calm your tits, sis; Double-D went home to build something to fix it."

"He better be or he's gonna be holding it up; I ain't sleeping downhill!" Lee gritted her teeth and wished Eddy was there; she had an overwhelming urge to punch something.

"I think it's kinda sweet." May embraced Marie around the shoulders and smiled sympathetically.

"Sweet?! She and her braniac boyfriend fucked our trailer into the ground!" One look between the blonde and the blue was all that it took for them to burst out laughing; this was just too much. It was true though; the northern side of the Kanker home had dropped into a sinkhole, causing everything in the trailer to rush to one side and only digging it in deeper. Not to mention that half of the kitchen had been pushed out the window before the fridge ended up blocking it. "Swear to god, I don't know whether to punch your teeth in or be proud!"

"Oh, like you're one to talk, Lee! Remember last spring when me and Marie thought there was an earthquake?"

"If May hadn't so casually walked into the kitchen and gotten it right in the head, the ship in a bottle would've been history!" For the briefest of seconds, Lee smiled at the memory of that night before returning to looking furious beyond belief.

"So what? That was just a quickie, it's not like it made the trailer unusable!"

"It didn't until it started to sound like an elephant giving birth up there!"

"The worst part is; we couldn't tell which one of you were making those noises!" The younger sisters were probably the only ones in the Peach Creek area who didn't fear the vein that was beginning to pulsate violently in Lee's forehead.

"You're wishing for an ass-kicking, girls." If the two noticed, they didn't care because they only giggled harder.

"Oh, and when we came back from the walk and Eddy came out? He looked like he'd ran a fucking marathon!"

"The best part was what he said!"

"'I think your sis just neutered me. Physically and mentally.'" Without warning, unless you count the raging howl she was emitting, Lee made a quick dive for them but with years of training on their side, May and Marie separated and jumped out of the way. They ran in two different directions, away from the trailer, momentarily halting the oldest Kanker before remembering which one it had been that had fucked their home into the ground.

Much later, when the beatings had been rightfully dealt to and by each one of them, they returned home to find their trailer once more in a perfect horizontal position with a sticky note on the door and a plate of chocolate chip cookies on the step.

**_Kiss you, taste you all night_****_  
_****Always**

"Hello there." Double-D stumbled out the door, momentarily glaring back at the threshold, before wobbling up to her. "What are you doing out here all alone?"

"Having a smoke, thinking back on last year." She took a sip from her glass and smiled sweetly when his arm snuck around her back to rest on her hip.

"Could I- Could I have one?" Blinking furiously, having to readjust his increasingly blurry vision, he grinned widely to fully expose the gap in his front teeth; something he knew she quite simply couldn't resist.

"Really, you want a cigarette? How drunk are you, Rocketman?"

"How drunk _aren't_you?" Marie could only roll her eyes when he snickered at his own supposed witty remark. "Well, I figured, it's a new year. New possibilities. New ways to be baaaaaaad..."

"Take it and shut up!" She shoved the burning tobacco already in her hand into his mouth; experience told her that there was no way in hell he could finish an entire cigarette himself and if not that then he would certainly be regretting it tomorrow. That is, if he would be remembering any of this tomorrow.

"I'm sorry." The grin that returned contradicted just how sorry he actually was and she couldn't help but laugh when she saw the cigarette stuck in his gap, wiggling up and down with the help of his tongue.

"Fuck you."

"Wouldn't you like to." They smiled at each other, trying to ignore the increasing sexual tension; they were after all still trying to keep this a secret. "By the way, what're you drinking?"

"I don't really know, Nazz made it for me." She held up the glass, allowing him to inspect its violet contents. "Said it came from a book of recipes that Eddy's brother scribbled down, called it a 'Throbbing Dickie'."

"Do they still make those?"

"If you're a fluffer, I guess." She took another drink and he swayed a little. It wasn't quite clear just how much he had been drinking, especially since the passing of midnight, but hey; it was only New Year's once every three-hundred-and-sixty-five days.

"Can I have a little, just a little..." He didn't finish the sentence, instead making strange gestures with his fingers around his mouth.

"Sure. Tastes a little like-" Unprepared for the fact that he had completely ignored the glass she was holding up, her mind grew confused when he leaned in and kissed her. It was weird to see, feel him, so unlike himself; so sure of himself, so vicious in his task. Her head was spinning by the time he moved back and leaned his head against her shoulder.

"Tastes a little like heaven." She felt the smile against her exposed skin and shuddered when his teeth scraped across it, tugging at the shoulder strap of her dress. "You know, Eddy's closet is quite-"

"Hey, Double-D!" In the blink of a second, or possibly even one-hundred-and-eighty-secondth of a second, she was flooded in light when the front door was thrown open to reveal Kevin, wobbling as much as Double-D had been. Said Double-D was sprawled out on the lawn, grimacing at the beer bottle that was digging into his side. "Hey, why're you on the ground?"

"I might have- I might have tripped over my own feet; my equilibrium is no longer what it was at the beginning of the night." The jock just stared at him, trying to make heads or tails of the explanation he had been offered. "I also seem to have lost a piece of burning tobacco somewhere in this vicinity."

"... Aight, cool. Listen, we're gonna be doing some shit in here; I don't have all the details but it's gonna be hilarious. You know where Dorky keeps his garden hoses?"

**_I've been here before a few times_****_  
_****And I'm quite aware we're dying**

He had lost count of the times he'd ventured there, not that there was any point in keeping track.

The mood of the visit varied very much from time to time; some days, there could be exciting news that he certainly would've wanted to know, other was to merely keep him company and share humorous anecdotes from the days gone past. But mostly, it was because Double-D missed his friend.

There were three locales in Peach Creek that he dreaded visiting. The first was the only one health clinic in the area, the second was the much larger teaching hospital located halfway between the small community and Lemon Brook. The third was the place the inhabitants rarely spoke of.

The Peach Creek Memorium Cemetery.

Closer to the Jawbreaker factory where Kevin's father once worked, the final resting place of most Peach Creek natives had an unimpressive visitor's count, mostly because it was considered way too far a distance to walk by many of the people in relation. And no one really wanted to spend their weekend driving back and forth to visit their grandmother's sister's husband. But there was one exception. And that because there was one grave that should not have been dug and in a perfect world; wouldn't have been.

To the casual observer, it was nothing special. Regular lot, flowers unkempt and a big, clumsy stone shoved into the ground to inform one of the fact that this was once a person.

But then there was that exception mentioned earlier. To which it meant everything. Defeat, anger, sadness, disappointment, happiness, wrath, regret, but mostly, emptiness. And had the coffin buried six feet underneath him been as empty as he had felt ever since he was called over to the hospital, his heart would be weightless.

"Hello, old friend." There were a few things that Double-D had never really liked. Pouring rain, for one example; light showers was beneficial for the local flora but the persistent droplets that hammered everything in their paths for hours to end did nothing but annoy him.

"It's been a while since we last talked." Another thing he disliked was alcohol. Not that he never drank; Marie and Eddy had certainly talked him into a few parties, not to mention the time she got him drunk on wine over a dinner. But he found the whole process of getting drunk... Irritating. The bitter, esophagus incinerating taste which had to be endured for hours barely seemed worth it for the corresponding hours of fun. Especially after all the times he ended up taking care of his girlfriend at three in the morning when her body decided that she had poisoned her liver for the last time that night.

"I... I'm sorry." Cigarettes. Smoking in general. He never really saw the point of it.

"I'm so sorry. For- For everything. For not... Not visiting more often." And of course, the old classic; dirt. Dirt, mud, sand, whichever. It had a nasty habit of clinging onto your clothes, your hair, definitely your nails and never really left until after fa vigorous washing. Just because he wasn't as compulsive as he had been as a pre-teen didn't it mean that he had to like being dirty.

"We- we had a fight. It was worse than anything before; worse than... Than Christmas. I was... God, I hate myself." But tonight, the evening when almost every nightmare he had ever had came alive, he didn't mind. The mud, though cold, embraced his posterior quite nicely, the rain shattering a silence which would've driven him mad while effortlessly hiding his falling tears.

"I said... I said so many things. Again. So many untrue things, so many things merely to hurt her... I- I don't know why, I don't remember why..." His fourteenth cigarette that night made just as good a job as the first to lull his brain into a state of comfortable numbness. He couldn't ask for anything more.

"The thing is... I didn't- I couldn't ever mean a single word of it because... Because I love her. I do. And... Maybe that's why I said it... To try to save her... From herself... Because-" And the vodka bottle that was rapidly nearing its end provided him with some detachment from the cold, slightly numbing the tremendous pain all while unfortunately enhancing the pain inducing feeling. Though he may have disliked these four things, they came nowhere close to the untempered hatred he felt towards his own being. If it turned out that he had lost her, he would never stop. "Because I couldn't save... You. Or maybe... Maybe you didn't want to be..."

"I m-miss you." A drag.

"I c-can't do this. I've... Fucked up so ma-many times." Mouthful of vodka to wash the tears down.

"Why the fu-fuck did you... Di-did you leave me?" Most of the times he was there, Eddward Hammer ended up wondering why the world had decided to fail his best friend Eddy McGee.

_**Come on let me hold you, touch you, feel you**_**_  
__Always_  
_Kiss you, taste you all night_  
_Always_**

"Aight, I have never..." Between the stress that their senior year was bringing and the responsibility of relationships, the three Eds rarely found time to simply hang out anymore; aside from brutal study sessions that always lasted longer than they should. So it came as a welcoming relief when they finally found one night free of both homework and Kanker sisters. Of course, because it was Eddy who had planned the night to begin with, there was alcohol. "Jacked off in another person's home."

"Eddy!" Double-D stared mortified at his friend and looked even more so when said friend took an all too casual swig of his beer.

"What? Lee was on her period and I had a boner! No regrets."

"Nifty." Ed, who was lying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling and simply cherishing the moment, opened his mouth wide to pour in some beer of his own; because he was thirsty though.

"Ed, your turn. And please, nothing so disturbing that I will be unable to look either of you in the eyes." Eddy frowned at this remark.

"Oh, come on! Like you never shake the trouser snake!"

"That is not the subject at hand!"

"Heh, 'at hand'." Double-D groaned at his friend's immaturity and motioned towards Ed. "Ed, your turn."

"I have never masturbated." He replied without a beat. Eddy grinned as he took a mouthful a bit too big then burst out laughing and coughing at Double-D's flushed face as he too modestly drank from his own beverage, a drink the shortest of them had been so gracious to mix.

"See? That wasn't so hard!"

"She commented casually." There was a pause where the intelligent Ed's retort floated around the room. Ed and Eddy stared at him for a moment before they both roared with laughter, bending over and holding their stomachs. Even Double-D offered an intoxicated chuckle.

"Not every day you hear a 'that's what she said' from Double-D!" Eddy wiped away a tear and opened another beer, as did Ed who had spilled the majority of his over both bed and floor.

"You're evolving, Double-D!"

"One can most certainly admit I am." He scratched his neck in thought and readjusted himself; the more he drank, the more uncomfortable the chair he was sitting on got. "My turn then. I have never... Had intercourse."

"That's a boring question." Eddy commented sourly but did comply. His sip didn't stay in his mouth long though and was sprayed everywhere due to the surprise of Ed's very similar motion. "WHAT?!"

"What Eddy said; Ed, when did you..." Double-D, who had some difficulty drinking himself due to the surprise but fared much better than his friend, wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his sweater and peered at the boy in question who shrugged the best he could lying down.

"'Bout a month ago."

"What the- When the- Who?!" Eddy stared wide-eyed at him; how was it that both of his best friends' had neglected to tell him that they had done the nasty?

"Follow-ups aren't in the rules, Eddy." Oh, he could've jumped him right there and then if it hadn't been for the facts that he had finally found a comfortable position in the worn-down-and-out armchair and that it would've taken too much effort just to get his ass kicked; his friend still held the physical advantage over him. Meanwhile, the third of them suddenly had a revelation.

"Ed, I swear to-"

"Eddy, if you would allow me to use your turn for you, I do believe I have the solution to this riddle." The addressed one only motioned vaguely in Double-D's direction, still staring blindly in disbelief. "I have never had sex with a member of the Kanker family." Ed confirmed his theory and he himself drank while Eddy, still being focused on the fact that all of this had bygone him, neglected to do so however.

"You bagged May?! How the hell don't we know about this?!"

"Didn't think it was anybody's business. Like Double-D did." Eddy grumbled angrily in response, taking the designated sip from his beer.

"Ed, your turn."

"I have never... Had sex in a public place." There was a slight hesitation from Double-D before he too followed suit to his two friends. "Double-D."

"I have never had sex in a public place only because it was the wish of my partner." They all glanced at each other and shrugged before drinking again. "Eddy."

"I have never stabbed my friend in the back by not telling him some important shit that was going on in my life, say, oh, I don't know; a girlfriend." Double-D sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose but did drink with Ed nonetheless.

"Eddy, I have apologized profoundly for that. Besides, it was negated since I helped you restore your house to its former state the day after New Year's Eve!"

"Barely; we still had to throw out the hallway carpets!"

"Why blame me for that? It was at the initiative of Jonny and Kevin!"

"Oh, I was under the impression that a certain someone showed Shovelchin where the hoes are at!"

"That'd be a bitchin' rap song." Ed interrupted his friends' bickering to deliver that dreamy thought. "I have never spent an entire day in bed."

"What, solo?"

"No, with someone." Only Ed and Eddy drank that time making the latter shoot the exception a smug look.

"What, you never just let time fly with Marie?"

"No, I am quite stern with hourly pauses and re-hydration breaks; she would have killed me some time ago otherwise." Realizing what information he had accidentally revealed, Double-D clasped his hands over his mouth and blushed.

"Re-hydration- What're you, a fire hose? You just gotta put some backbone into it!" Eddy snickered at himself, granting him a raised eyebrow from his friend.

"Very well. I have never fucked the Kankers trailer into the ground." This time, it was like time stopped. Ed slowly propped himself on up his elbows to give Double-D an impressed look while Eddy's beer slid out of his hand, the sound of it hitting the cement floor echoed throughout the small room.

"... Fuck me, that was you?"

"Team effort." Double-D finished his glass smugly and began mixing himself another one.

"... Lee just smacked me over the head and said they'd buried someone for asking questions."

"May said they'd had some plumbing done."

"Well, I felt somewhat bad for the whole ordeal so I constructed something to move the trailer back a couple of feet, away from the sinkhole."

"Holy shit. That is- Ed, I think Double-D just won life or something." Eddy opened yet another beer, still observing his friend in shock. Who would've thought that the scrawny guy had it in him?

"Congrats, Double-D; that's something to put on your resume!" Ed dropped back down and returned to studying the ceiling.

"Come now, gentlemen."

"How the hell did you manage that? You pick up some tantric, Buddhist shit in a book or something?"

"It comes to a combination of... That, I have to admit, and simple emotions."

"Emotions are never simple, Double-D." There had to be props given to Ed for that; behind his simple exterior hid quite a deep, philosophical way of perceiving the world.

"Monobrow's right; I mean, it's like, how d'you draw the line between liking some like hell and loving someone?"

"Well... Why don't we take a round where we all share what we think love is?" The smartest of them clasped his hands around his glass and stared down upon the carpet in thought.

"When the fuck did 'I Have Never' turn into some dumb after-school special?"

"'Twas your question, Eddy."

"What the fuck have you been reading now, Lumpy? 'Twas?"

"It was."

"What was it?"

"'Twas."

"'Twas what?"

"Exactly." Eddy raised his beer, as if to make a point, but shook his head and let the whole thing float away; there was just no reasoning with Ed's logic nowadays. Either it was foolproof or it was just proof of foolishness.

"Aight, so love. What is love...?"

"Baby, don't hurt me... Don't hurt me..." Ed's low keyed singing was swiftly silenced with a beer can to the head.

"I'd say... Love's like... That you don't have to give a shit, you know? You can eat like microwave burritos for three weeks, then lay dying on the can for another three but shit wouldn't matter because you ate each and every one of those rectum ripping bastards with the one you love. It's like you just stop spending time caring about petty shit and start to realize what's really important. Maybe that's what love is." Eddy grew quiet and stared into his beer; it wasn't really something he had given much thought before and now, it was like he couldn't stop. Double-D nodded, deciding not to shatter the moment by commenting on his friend's vivid example, and turned his attention towards Ed.

"All you need is love..." He croaked before clearing his throat and pouring a substantial amount of beer into his mouth; Double-D was beginning to fear that he might drown before the end of the night if he stayed in that position. "Love is like... The eye of the storm. Everything can be ending around you and you wouldn't even notice because you're staring into her eyes." There was no continuation for he, as did his friends, thought that was more than enough of an explanation.

"The Encyclopaedia Britannica defines love as-" Eddy emitted a shortle, shaking his head. "All jokes aside, I think that love is a form of evolution. It develops you as a person, both the emotion and the relationship, because for the first time, it's no longer about you. It's about the union you and your partner share and from there, an entirely new individual arises. New hopes, new dreams, new tastes, new experiences; more than half of which, one wouldn't discover on his own. Like life, true love is a never-ending journey that never gets boring." The basement grew quiet. Each of them stared without looking at a point, engaged in thought of the subject. Was what they had love? Or merely something experimental that would be left behind with their teenage years? Who knew? Who really knew what love is?

There was a quote that Ed's father, out of all people, loved to utter whenever he caught his wife reading sappy love stories. "_Love is too large, too deep ever to be truly understood or measured or limited within the framework of words_." This was also one of the many reasons Ed would often find his father sleeping on the couch when he got up for school.

"No, lads, I didn't promise Lee a trip to the mall Sunday for nothing; we gotta do something productive with this night!" Eddy stretched out and downed the rest of his drink, throwing it in Ed's face.

"Seconded."

"I would agree; the melancholic mood of the room is, to put it bluntly, blowing my buzz."

"Aight, gents; let's get this shit started! Ed, track seven of the mix! Double-D, bring your ass over here and bring the bottle!" Following their unofficial leader's orders, Ed jumped out of the bed while Double-D leaned over to grab the bottle of rum, falling off the chair with a "Yelp!" in the process.

"Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!" Excitedly, much more so than previously, Ed threw Eddy's mixed CD into his computer and pressed play. The crunk music that emitted from the speakers, along with the laughter directed at Double-D's obviously inebriated state, lightened the entire feel of the room substantially.

"If ever there is a tomorrow, let's greet it without regrets!" With rosy cheeks, a wide grin and a beanie that covered half of his vision, Double-D joined his two best friends in the whole world for several rounds of interesting and entertaining shots.

**_Always_**

"Can you believe this is the third year we did this?" Ever since Double-D had entered his home one Christmas to find that his girlfriend had turned it into a combination of a haunted mansion and Santa's Village, it had become a tradition they could both enjoy; especially since Marie was getting more and more creative with each year.

"Oh, _you_ did it, dear. Christmas is always all you." They were lounging on the couch, attempting to do nothing at all and succeeding. It was part of the inevitable Holiday-lull that occurred when the day was drawing to a close; dinner with loved ones has been cooked and cleared, presents have been opened, Christmas specials watched and everyone had gotten perhaps a bit more drunk than they should have. But they could allow it; this wasn't exactly supposed to be a happy occasion.

"Hey, today was beautiful. It was a wonderful idea," Joined by Ed and Marie's sisters, they had all climbed into the rusty old jalopy Marie had dedicated a lot of time trying to get into working order and traveled to the cemetery. The sisters had prepared and set up the picnic under a snow covered tree not far from the grave granting Ed and Double-D a moment alone with their fallen friend. After the lunch, and several rounds of everyone's favorite Eddy stories, they were about to leave when Lee asked for a minute alone with her man. It was first then the remaining four shared a look and realized that a possible mistake might have been made; they still had each other. Double-D had the support and comfort of Marie, just as Ed had May, but Lee was going through this alone. Sisters in all honor but Eddy had connected with her in a way she never could have imagined; she had truly opened her heart completely for another person and now, he was gone.

"I wouldn't want him to be alone, not on Christmas." They had led the oldest Kanker back to the car after she had started punching the headstone in a fit of tears, cursing the name Eddy McGee for ever existing. Ed and Double-D had let their significant others calm their sister down while they gathered up what they had brought; through all of it, they had never seen Lee display much emotions about it. But of course, like so many other tragedies, she had covered it up and buried it deep within herself. "Marie?"

"Hmm?"

"What's my age again?" She turned her head, moving closer when she saw the shimmer of sadness in his eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"What's my age again?"

"I don't- I don't understand." His hands retracted into tense fists.

"It just feels like... When I was young, the world... It was smaller. It still feels like it was yesterday, the days that were built on all the small things that could easily be taken for granted; whether Eddy asked me to design a roller coaster or Ed tried to convince me that aliens exist. We thought it would last forever. And now... We're all going away to college, starting new lives. Up all night after midnight, studying into the early morning hours with a constant case of asthenia. Because Eddy won't be out there. He won't ever be able to work his way up in the business world and see EdCo rise to unfathomable heights on Wall Street."

"I know, Honey."

"That was the intention of my question... Because I can't for the life of me remember growing up to this reality." He grew quiet. Marie didn't really know what to say but didn't have to wait long for him to continue. "When I saw Lee's emotional outburst today, all I could think about was that everything around here will always remind her of Eddy. Prom, for heaven's sake; do you not think she'll envision his ghost on the dance floor? The prom photos that will echo empty in the space where he should be standing. Forever doomed to view Peach Creek through a broken kaleidoscope, thanks to the fact that her heart's all gone."

"Sweetie." She tried to catch his attention but with the help of the alcohol, he was stuck on a carousel; trapped in this negative state of mind.

"That's what life gives you for Christmas these days; a neatly wrapped present addressed 'Happy Holidays, you bastard' and when you open it, all you find is an untitled short story of a lonely guy who ended his life with reckless abandon."

"Dammit, Double-D; shut up!" She leaned back and slapped him hard before taking a firm hold of his head; making sure he would actually listen to what came next. The fact that she had struck him seemed enough to bring his attention back to her. "Just shut _the fuck _up for a second."

"Okay."

"All of this; the scams, the imaginative adventures, the best fucking time of your life? It's always gonna be with you. Wherever the fuck you go; this is home. This is where you were born." His mouth closed again at her threatening glare; she was certain he was going to point out that he hadn't in fact been physically born there. "This is where the _real _Eddward Hammer was born."

"But... How does one even begin to fathom the idea of moving on from this?"

"Remember our first date? When we first counted all the people walking by?" He nodded best he could in her vice-like grip. "All I could think about the whole time was how fucking stupid it was. But you, you enthused the living shit out of it. Wondering who they were, where they were coming from, where they were going. Every time I look for you in a crowd, I think back to that day. Because I instantly find you. Compared to all the other fuckers who still believes that a wishing well is gonna be their salvation or stay together for the kids and throw their own happiness out the window, you have this air of knowledge around you; like you've calculated exactly every step of the way and I know you have. And I know that if it should all turn to shit, you have a back-up plan."

"You overestimate me." A tear traveled down his sore cheek; it still broke her heart to see.

"No. No, I fucking don't. I know you're strong. Ed knows it. All the fucking neighborhoods around here knows it. Eddy knew it better than anybody. But you're not Superman, Double-D; you're Chris Reeve. You fall down, you get back up and adapt yourself to live with the damage. No matter how painful it is. Because it's worth it. And don't tell me you don't know that Eddy'd beat the shit out of you if you stayed down." He suddenly slapped her hands away and grabbed her, pressing their lips together. The tears that flooded their eyes joined together into a stream which stained everything in their path; couch, clothing, kiss. He let out a sob and moved back, breathing shallowly.

"Don't leave me. Please, Marie; don't leave me. You're all I... I'm lost without you." She too sobbed and began planting kisses across his face; one for every day they had loved each other.

"Give me one good reason."

"I'd rather not. I'd miss you." Her sob turned into a laugh and he embraced her tightly. If there was one thought that frightened him now, it was the thought of losing Marie. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I fucked up Christmas."

"Christmas is always fucked up, Sweetie."

"This one was a disaster."

"Well, Christmas ain't over yet; still a chance for a new hope. I'm really feeling this Boxing Day."

**_Always..._**

She stood shivering in the rain, still shook up about just how badly her encountered with truck could have ended. How she could've left him alone in this world without undoing all the stupid shit she had said. All the excuses. That she didn't love him anymore.

How could she have been so dumb? She had seen it up front with Eddy the damage that the heavier stuff was capable of and yet... It had been a stupidly selfish moment where she had tried to escape from every last one of her problems, but it had only caused more pain in the end. And now, there she was; waiting for a boy that might not even show up. Had he understood her text? What she meant by 'the beginning'?

She moved in under a heavy oak tree to shield herself from the falling sky as she lit up another cigarette. Maybe this was finally it. Maybe their relationship had suffered a blow too many for him to even want to contemplate working it out. Perhaps it would just be easier to give up for good; deal with the pain.

A pain that dispersed quickly when she heard strained creaking echoing between the trees.

The place where Marie and Double-D met again, the muddy forest glade where the Kanker sisters had ambushed the Eds' for the first time, stood still as they saw each other in the darkness. Getting off his bicycle and simply throwing it to the ground, he walked towards her. She remained frozen for a moment before she too made her way towards him. Picking up their speed, the collided with each other in a kiss that could have turned the surrounding rain to steam. If there were tears this time, no one would know. No one would care.

"Marie, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." His frantic pedaling from the cemetery combined with the natural shower had sobered him up substantially and he was now thinking clearer than ever. There was only one thing he would ever want in his life and that was her. No college, no job, no friends. Just her.

"I'm sorry; for everything." She crashed their lips together again; it felt like they had been apart for countless of pain filled years too long to count, a desire born within her that would never end. A desire for him. "For all the shit I put you through and still am. Will you stay with me, even if you know how hopelessly fucked up beyond all recognition I am?" She wanted him. She needed him. But she never wanted to miss him again.

"Always."


End file.
